Dealing with Judgement in Art & Life! How do YOU do it?

Hi friends! It my Wednesday video blog I am talking about judgement and criticism, what do you think?

I think that there are 3 kinds or judgement:

  1. Jealousy
  2. Inadequacy/mirror judgement  (You feel bad about something in yourself and judge other people for the same thing to make your self feel better but really you are judging yourself.)
  3. Concern (You see a friend needs help and you offer it, or advice and it come across as criticism.)

Remember someone criticizing your art is different from someone criticizing you.  The next time you feel jealous, or like judging someone or you feel judged just remember you can figure out why you feel the way you do and move on! Someone told me that what others think of you is none of your business, well said my friend! Let me know what you think in the comments below and as always happy crafting!

42 Responses

  1. Hello Lindsay. Thank you for addressing such a sensitive topic in a way that we all can feel safe reading. You did an awesome job!!! Diana

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  2. Holy Cow! Was this on time for me!!! Someone didn’t like my piece in a n art swap and slammed me. Boy did it cut and shred me up. I really needed to hear this post. You are just so cool. I have a friend in blog-land sigh….

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  3. I am no “artist” by any stretch of the imagination, but I like to “putter” with paint and other crafting materials. I live half way around the world from most of my family and friends, so I often send them pictures of my efforts. Last year I painted a cartoon mural of sea creatures on a wall. One person I sent it to wrote back to say that it was wonderful, but then asked if I copied the figures or made them up on my own. For some reason, the fact that I may have “copied” them from drawings I found on the Internet sort of canceled out the “wonderful”. It felt like a glass of cold water being thrown in my face.

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  4. Very helpful, you have an understanding heart.

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  5. 100% on target. Life is far too short to let this kind of nonsense into our creative areas

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  6. Hi, Lindsay. Really sweet to offer reality and encouragement to us. Jealousy/insecurity results in a lot of relationship problems. One thing that has helped me is time. When I hit 50, I quit caring as much about what other people said and it truly does hurt less. I figure they are either fitting into one of your categories (#2 is like transference), or having a bad day and later they regret what or how they said something. Criticism can still sting, it just doesn’t cause a big issue anymore. Hurray for 50 and I really like your attitude (and art and jewelry!)

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  7. You said it all , and did an awesome job!!! Keep up all the good work. I think the world could use more just like you!!!!! Lov U !!!!

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  8. I think the older I get the less things bother me. People can be really cruel with what they say at times. Believe me I know being next to the oldest of nine children and having 4 younger sisters that over the years have said things that hurt, but I don’t let it bother me anymore I just look over it, life is to short to worry about that. You are the best Lindsay have a good night.

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  9. I think you are fantastic, your art, your jewlery, and now this! I know I can get my feelings hurt when I can tell someone doesn’t like my work. I have to keep telling myself its ok you are learning and Lindsey would say “don’t worry about it just enjoy the process”. You are a blessing to us that are just learning to pain!

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  10. Wow! Lindsay,
    Thanks for chatting about this, yes its tough, when you know someone’s not sincere …..but you’re correct about not taking it too seriously.
    *

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  11. Sooo true….I couldn’t agree more. This attitude also spills over into other areas of our lives. Those “mirrors” can be powerful tools to help us grow into more productive, caring, happy people. Thank you for sharing!

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  12. You are so right about judgment. My first husband almost totally destroyed my confidence in my art work, and most everything else! The last straw was when I spent all one Saturday helping my three young girls paint ceramic pieces for gifts for his family and he looked at them and said, “Well aren’t you going to buy them something decent too?” Luckily the girls didn’t hear him but I was crushed. His family got what we made and they loved them but it was years before I would make something for anyone as a gift, or sell it. I’m so over that now. I even have my own blog and post my art work and I even ask for constructive criticism, because that’s how we get better I think. But art work is so personal. I personally don’t care much for abstract art but I obviously some people like it so to each their own is my motto. I guess as I got older what other people think and say is their problem. Some people feel better about them selves when they tear someone else down, like ex-husband. My current husband of 26 years thinks I’m so creative I can do anything and make anything and he loves what I do – rolls his eyes at the various “stashes” but still encourages me in my endeavours.
    I guess all artists just have to grow rubber skin so nasty comments can bounce off them!

    Ooops instead of a comment I wrote a book! Sorry about that.

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  13. Well Said! There is too much judgment . We need more grace and love for one another. Words can be very wounding. There is enough pain and hurt in our lives without inflicting more.

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  14. Hi Lindsay,
    I have worked as a Commercial Artist for over 40 years now and have learned to take Criticism in my art pretty well….mainly because the person paying me is the one whose judgement counts at the job. There were jobs I refused to do which was my way of judging the request I quess you could say. But, at home, in my own time and space, what I like is up to me. The only pay I get for it is a smile on my face when I’m done. If I had fun while I was making a “Mess” then it wasn’t a total waste of time. I’ve made it my policy to only give artwork to someone as a gift if it will fit in with their decor. 🙂

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  15. Having been stung in the past by comments…for whatever reason, I now try to definitely something good in whatever art work I am viewing and try to build confidence in that person. After all, we all have to grow and a little bit of confidence allows us to explore and succeed or fail…all a learning experience. If you don’t succeed at first, try, try, try again! We were all at the beginning at one time! Thanks for your point on comments Lindsay!!!
    Hugs,
    Jan

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  16. Hi Lindsay. Some people don’t know how to do anything but be sarcastic about everyone else’s art. That’s just how they are. That doesn’t make it right at all. I always say, “Consider the source”. I told a lady one time that if I had asked for her opinion, what she said might have hurt my feelings, but since I didn’t ask her for her opinion, I could ignore what she said. I hurt her feelings a whole lot more than she hurt mine, because she was wanting to hurt mine. I didn’t want to hurt hers, I just wanted to let her know that what she thought didn’t matter one little bit to me. I tell people I’m 30 years old with 25 years of experience. That 25 years of experience says, “Those that matter, don’t judge; Those that judge, don’t matter!”
    hugs, Patty

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  17. Very encouraging words. We are not going to please everyone, and even those we can please, we can’t please all the time. I have learned not to stress over things that used to really bother me. Now it’s like…what ever. Kindness is a good thing. Jealously can cause people to do/say ugly things. It’s good to measure your words before they are said.

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  18. Well said! I would have started displaying and selling earlier if I shrugged off those judgements. Funny when so many of us hit 50 we magically develop such confidence. Thanks for making creating so easy and fun for us.

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  19. I wholeheartedly agree with what everyone has said. As you get older you do care less about what people think and say about and to you. I also think that women can be too sensitive to what others say. I have tried to be like a man in this respect. When you think that a guy can tell another guy to f* off and then 5 minutes later they are talking about meeting for golf – what happened in the past has been left in the past. I realize, of course, this is not always the case, but for the most part we carry around too much “stuff” on our backs and we need to lighten the load. Let’s not sweat the small stuff, and in the end it’s all small stuff. Just my opinion. Have a great day today and tomorrow!

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  20. I agree with everyone else. I don’t let things bother me. Everyone has an opinion, and a lot of people like different kinds of art. As long as you are pleased with what you do, don’t let what anyone else says get to you.

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  21. I really think, you said everything soo well Lindsey, and all is sooo true. Not that I´ve ever had a problem, as I´ve never cared much about, if someone didn´t like my work. We have a great saying here that goes: One likes the mother, and one likes the daughter, and that´s luckily why they both got married, meaning that we can´t all like the same things, and that´s why it´s sooo nice, that there´s soo much different, so there can be something for everyone to like, and if just all people can accept, that just because they don´t like it too much, others can very well, so no need to talk bad about anything, and you can always find something nice to say about everything, and 3 kind words can make the day for someone while 3 mean words can ruin a whole week, so why not just say the 3 nice???

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    • I was a bit too fast, as I menat to finish with another saying herem that goes: If you don´t have anything nice to say, then sit down and SHUT UP.

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      • Lindsay – Yes!, Yes!, and YES! great video and you are soooo upbeat. Good for you.

        Maryann Very Interesting!

        My Mother, God rest her soul, said the same thing. And, Lindsay, OoooooEeeee! Send me the name, address, cell phone number, and email of the offending one! I’ll do to them like my sister ‘used’ to do unto me – slap me to the curb and I never knew what hit me until a day or two later and I shook my head and said, “Gaaaalee! She really whacked me!” She was the ultimate put down artist. LOL. . . All kidding aside, yes, age does make a whole lot of things seem silly, but even at 69, it sometimes stings like iodine in an open wound. Lindsay, here’s some chocolate. See me putting it on your ouchie? Now, didn’t that make it all feel sooo much better? See, a sweet smile and that sunshine face of your just gleams.

        God bless you friend, teacher, fabulous artist, loving mother and beautiful – adorable wife! and it looks like I’m not the only one who truly cares about you. See, this was better than any ole boring Sunday School lesson, which even the teacher didn’t quite understand.

        So! Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and start all over again. It’s worth it. If it’s any consolation, no one, and I mean no one ever taught, showed, or explained to me how to keep house. I am a horrible housekeeper and I had maids from day one of my marriage – that’s 50 years of maids. Well, on a limited income – artsy craft products are more important and I do not have a maid. I had to choose. Okay, I can hear all of you whining ‘waaah!’ and it doesn’t even faze me.

        Back to the task at hand = Keep your brass knuckles close Lindsay and others, just in case it’s the Devil incarnate you’re actually dealing with. But before you charge and scream ‘Remember the Alamo!’, say either under your breath or out loud – Blood of Jesus You be still, and May God rebuke you, I humbly pray. Then smile, smile, smile!! Works every time. The Holy Spirit will be all over you, and just the shining glory alone will scare the offending one and even the Devil himself half to death. NO JOKE!!!

        Sunday School lesson is now over! See me put my soap box back into the front closet. Did you hear it as it scraped the floor when I kicked it further to the back? And now, can you hear me shutting the closet door? It’s all better now. Well, for me anyway, and all ya’ll too I hope. You’ve just seen a Texas Girl in action. As my sister tells me: “Paula, you’re meaner ‘n a rattlesnake, and screwier ‘n bat poop!” Sometimes, however, that is exactly what it takes! Nerves of steel and an attitude that NO ONE can pull down. 🙂 Hang in there my lovelies – yes, that’s exactly what ya’ll are. No one but lovelies in this group Right? Right! :). . .

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  22. You are now also a Therapist! Wisdom abounds you.

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  23. I’m jealous of how aware you are of this subject! (ha ha!) What a great video. I wish I’d seen it before my first two (and only) attempts at selling my Halloween jewelry and crafts in public. I have major issues with judgement since growing up in a judgmental household and have had to retrain myself trying not to be that way. Sometimes it just comes out if I don’t think first. It really was a way of life in my family. I’m not sure if I will have another attempt at a booth. But if I do I will have to watch your video again!

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  24. Great advice. Not always easy to remember, still great advice.

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  25. Lindsay, here, here, touche, right on and Amen!!!! I’m so happy you put this on here, not just as a reminder for myself but for everyone! We should all just be a little kinder to ourselves and others! Yes we are ALL AWESOME!

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  26. Hi Lindsey, never thought of it that way before, but, honestly your friend has a point it probably is none of our business what others think of us, food for thought hey……..well done Lindsey for bringing to light reality…..enjoy your vacation well earned girl…..

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  27. I think there is a 4th, legitimate kind of judgement, and that’s one of skill and discernment learned over the years. If we aren’t willing to listen to the criticism of those who know more, that prevents us from growing in our craft. This isn’t catering to the masses…I truly believe every artist has the right to project his or her own vision despite any naysayers, as long as it is an intentional and/or a desired outcome–(love those happy accidents!). If someone says: “those colors are a muddy mess…..but…..here’s what I would do to fix that,” I think, yes, it is a judgement, but a valid one and intended to help, even if inelegantly phrased.

    Loved the video and it is a very important message!

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    • I am remiss not mentioning constructive criticism, that kind is along the lines of “let me help you with that” well intended criticism I think though:)

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  28. LINSEY WHAT GREAT ADVICE…I do many differentyI please myself and engoy the makng…..I give a quilt each year to someone that’s inneed yes I sell some too…..I have been looking for the target sponage could you tell were to look thank you I watch everyday

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    • Hi Dorothy, I don’t know what Target Sponage is let a lone where to find it:)

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      • I think Dorothy means the kids bath sponge toys sold at Target for $1. I *love* “Sponage”. 🙂 I *finally found them after years of looking everywhere. I* bought SEVEN packages, Lindsay! Yeah! Dorothy, that $1 section is just inside the entrance at most Targets.in red, plastic stacking bins. I hope I’ve understood correctly.

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  29. Hi Lindsay 🙂
    Thank you for your advice and guidance in this video. You are an awesome and special person and you inspire us to do the best we can and not be afraid to try new things.
    I hope you can help me with this problem: As I get older I have difficulty trying to thread the needle on my sewing machine. Is there a device that I could use to help me put that thread through the needle? Your attention to this question is greatly appreciated.
    You rock girl! Please keep on sharing your crafting ideas with us.
    Thanks!!
    Take care.

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    • You can get a needle that has a slit on the side and you rub the tread along the edge and it goes in, it is slick! They sew fine for me but I am not picky (I don’t change my needle unless it breaks LOL!) you might also try an ott light over your sewing machine with a magnifier on the neck of the lamp.

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  30. OMGosh! I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love this piece. Thank you SO much for showing and describing your process. I especially appreciate how you explained things like balance of colours and points of good composition. I have no art training, so these things are new to me.

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  31. Well said Lindsay!

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  32. Thanks for addressing this topic which I’m sure is close to everyone’s heart at some time or another. Well said Lindsay.

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